TRP: Hansel and Roddy (Amends)
Izzy: '''At 2:16 PM Morningstar Keep, Day 169. Hansel had been leaving Roddy alone for the past few days -- Ombre was still working on Jonn's journal, so he didn't have anything concrete he could offer the kid to make up with him, and he didn't know what the hell he could say at this point to make things better. Kid seemed to be avoiding him, too. Fair. He fucking hated it, though. Would've been easier if they were back in Skyport -- then he could've gone out somewhere, stopped seeing Roddy around the castle, or just expecting to see him, and remembering that shit was fucked up right now and he couldn't just ask the kid what he was up to. See if he wanted to keep trying to teach Hansel how to play the mandolin or help him with dinner or fuckin' throw snowballs at each other or something. When he and Jonn had been living together, they'd had exactly one argument, and Jonn had given in as soon as he'd realized Hansel was actually mad at him. It'd been over in ten minutes and then they'd gone downstairs and gotten drunk. Hansel didn't fucking know how to handle this 'living with someone you're not talking to' shit. Seemed like it'd be easiest to just start goddamn talking again. So when he headed into the kitchen around noon to grab something to eat, and saw Roddy there -- after he had a brief and worrying fucking flashback to the last time he'd walked in on Roddy in the kitchen -- he went about his business gathering up some bread and cheese. Mishka'd suggested that he hadn't actually done anything, so he tried to act like a normal fucking person, and said the kind of thing he would normally say. "Hey, kid." Hm. More than that, though. "You want me to make you lunch?" Yeah. Good. That was incredibly fucking normal. '''Muse: at 2:29 PM Roddy flinched a little when he saw Hansel come in. He'd just wanted some water and- had stopped for a minute too. Just hanging out. Maybe half-hoping someone would show up. And now here Hansel was. Roddy stared at his glass, shifting around. Half-considered leaving- but he wanted Hansel to talk to him. Though- asking if he wanted lunch had not be something Roddy'd considered. He'd had- a lot of thoughts over the last few days. This hadn't been one of them. Had to respond somehow. Roddy shrugged, still staring at the table. Izzy: at 2:37 PM Well. That clearly wasn't much of an answer. He guessed Roddy still didn't want to talk to him. But the kid wasn't yelling at him to get out, either, so he quietly put together a sandwich for each of them and took them over to the table, sitting Roddy's in front of him, then going to the other side of the table to sit down himself. Figured it was a step. Muse: at 2:42 PM Oh- Roddy did get a sandwich. Yeah this was not going anything like Roddy'd imagined. (Any of them.) Slowly, he reached out and pulled it closer. Looked up just a little when Hansel sat down but quickly went back to staring at his food. He wasn't all that hungry. Stomach too in knots to eat. Pulled at the crust of the bread instead, tearing it off and crumbling it into, well, crumbs. Was Hansel gonna say something else? Roddy didn't know how long he could wait. Izzy: at 2:47 PM Hansel glanced up at Roddy picking at his food. Ah. Wasn't actually hungry, maybe. He'd just assumed. Maybe the kid was in here because he'd already eaten. Nice going, commander. He guessed they could just fuckin' sit here. It was still progress from not even being in the same room. He also still fucking hated it, so he tried, "Pick that up from Mishka, did you," and nodded to the way the kid was tearing apart his food. Muse: at 2:50 PM Roddy flinched again at Hansel's voice. Still just- being normal. Acting like nothing was wrong. (Roddy just wanted all this to be over.) "Maybe," he muttered. Should stop it- he pushed his plate away and folded his arms over his chest, staring off at the wall. Izzy: at 2:55 PM "Hmm." Fuck, this was not going well. Hansel wasn't that fucking hungry anymore, either. He tapped his fingers on the table for a second. "Kid, d'you wanna ... talk to me, or d'you want me to leave you alone?" Muse: at 2:59 PM Hu-what? Roddy actually looked at Hansel this time. Hadn't expected that question. Quickly looked away again, staring around at anything but him. Needed to use words here. What did he want. "I don't- want you not talking to me," he said slowly. Izzy: at 3:07 PM That was a bit of a relief. All right. He guessed he still had to do most of the talking, though. Shit. "All right." He paused. Well, the first part was familiar, and that made it easier, in a way. "Listen, Roddy, I'm sorry I fuckin' yelled at you and shoved you. I shouldn't've done that." Muse: at 3:11 PM Hansel was apologizing. Maybe that should be making Roddy feel better. It wasn't. They just kept beating around the bush and Roddy was getting tired of it, tired of being upset, tired of waiting. "Did you read them?" he asked. Glanced up at Hansel, stiff and tense. "The- the papers. Did you read them." Izzy: at 3:13 PM "Yeah," he said slowly. "I did." There was a fucking lot to unpack, there, and he wasn't sure where to start with it. "Probably shouldn't've, but I was fuckin' worried, kid. You said that was what'd upset you. So I did, yeah." Muse: at 3:15 PM Roddy gave a short, jerky nod. Yeah. Figured as much. "So?" he asked shortly. "What'd you think?" Izzy: at 3:22 PM He hesitated. "I mean. It didn't make me less fucking worried." Tapped at the table a bit more, then made himself stop. "Why d'you think you can't talk to me?" Come get me, he'd said, fucking months ago at this point. If you're in trouble. Come get me. I'll help you out. Roddy'd been confused, and he'd asked why, and then Hansel had been fucking confused, because that was just -- what you did. Roddy had been his crew, then, and he was fuckin' family, now. But Hansel must have missed something along the way. Didn't know if Roddy still thought they were family or not.(edited) Muse: at 3:25 PM "...Mad," Roddy muttered. Izzy: at 3:30 PM Hansel winced a little. "You thought I'd be mad?" He'd been a bit rough on the kid, before, when he'd found him and Goro arguing. Just -- concerned, mostly. Same as he'd been when he walked in on the kid clutching matches. "I'm not gonna get mad at you for talking to me, Roddy." Muse: at 3:32 PM Roddy nodded slightly. The knot in his chest was loosening- a little. "What'd- what'd you do with them?" he asked. Izzy: at 3:35 PM "Held onto'em for you." He paused. "I'm not gonna keep you from buring'em, if that's what you wanna do, still. Just, y'know. Do it outside." He didn't get why burning this shit was important, but he guessed it was. Muse: at 3:38 PM Roddy nodded again. That was- that was good. Part of him wanted to now but- he should fix things with Hansel first. "Can I get a hug?" he asked quietly. Izzy: at 3:42 PM "You absolutely fucking can," Hansel said, already standing up and circling the table to grab the kid tight. Felt like he still had something to apologize for, but he didn't know what. Maybe Mishka'd been right about him not having actually done anything -- he was, every now and then, after all. Muse: at 3:45 PM It took Roddy a second, but he hugged back. The knot in his stomach finally began to unwind. Hansel wasn't mad. Everything was okay. "Sorry," he muttered. "Back- in the circus. Amren'd- he'd read my journal. Didn't- didn't like it." Not that it had changed anything. Never did- not there, anyway. Izzy: at 3:49 PM "Oh." That kind of made sense. Kid was just trying to keep things secret from his shithead brother, even though he wasn't around anymore. He patted Roddy's shell. "Hey. I mean, I won't read your fuckin' journal. No one here's gonna. You don't have to burn things to keep'em secret." Muse: at 3:51 PM Roddy nodded a little. If he hadn't even tried to burn them maybe none of this would have happened. But the thought of those pages staying unburned... Made him antsy. Maybe he'd think about it more later. "You're not mad about the- the Goro thing?" Izzy: at 3:57 PM "Ah, I mean." Hansel rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Here the thing, kid. I fucked up pretty goddamn bad with Goro, too. I mean, don't fuckin' make people cry, as a rule. But it sounded like you just ... y'made a mistake. I'm not gonna hold making a mistake against you. You just gotta learn to do better. I'm working on that myself," he admitted. Muse: at 3:58 PM This was... reasonable. Just- one thing. "I dunno if I know how to do better." Izzy: at 4:00 PM Hansel sighed. He sat down in the chair next to Roddy. "Me fuckin' either, kid." That wasn't too goddamn helpful, though. "It seemed like -- Goro said some shit that upset you, and you got mad at him and said something that made him cry, right?" Muse: at 4:02 PM It'd been a bit, and Roddy'd- been a little distracted by other things. Still though, he tried to think about it, see what jumped out. "Seemed- dismissive," he said slowly. "Goro did, I mean. I didn't- like that. Got mad. And- kept escalating till he cried. Didn't- take much." Izzy: at 4:10 PM Huh. There'd been a lot of shit going on, lately. If it'd been right around the time he and Goro'd fought -- yeah, no, that was fucking spinning what'd happened, wasn't it -- then he guessed it wouldn't have taken much to upset Goro. On the other hand, Roddy didn't seem like he was too fucking great at knowing when he was upsetting people. Hansel had wondered if he didn't care if he upset people, but it seemed more like he just didn't fucking understand. "All right." He thought for a beat. "Y'know, it's fuckin' hard to think when you get mad. I know that." Did he fuckin' ever. "But, uh. What I try to do is -- when I get angry, I try to not say anything. That way I don't say anything that, yknow, I'll fucking regret. And make things worse. Just keep your mouth closed and try to calm down before you say anything. Can you try that?" Muse: at 8:38 PM Roddy shifted a little. "I don't know," he said slowly. "Back- in the circus. When um, when I wanted- anything. I had to- really make them listen. Sometimes they still wouldn't. It's- a habit now, I guess." Get loud, grab at arms, tug, pull, say anything that came to mind. But then again, "I can try." Izzy: at 8:49 PM Ah, fuck. Yeah, all right. He got that, too. "Yeah," he said quietly. "Those kinda habits are fuckin' ... tough." He chewed on it for a second. "Y'know, though -- where I grew up, they made me fucking afraid to ever touch another person, but when I got over that it made my life a lot fucking better. It's worth it, I guess is what I'm saying. Trying, I mean." Shit, he didn't know if that was helpful. The kid had just asked for a hug, though. Maybe he'd get what Hansel meant. Muse: at 8:55 PM Roddy pulled back a little, just enough so he could look Hansel in the face. He hadn't- thought about Hansel having troubles too. Little too wrapped up in his own world. Maybe- maybe it was nice Roddy knew now. He leaned in again, squeezing Hansel as tight as he could manage. "I like it when you hug me," he said. "And- and I'm gonna work on it. For me. I trust you." Izzy: at 9:16 PM Hansel hugged the kid back, tightly but carefully, because he was fucking lying about being over that shit. He was better, though. It was something. "All right. Good." He patted Roddy's shell. "And listen, I mean -- kid, when you need something, just fuckin' let me know, okay? Whether it's to talk, or -- whatever." Muse: at 9:23 PM "I'll work on that too," Roddy promised. The journal thing- that'd made it worse. But this was good. This was what Roddy needed to remember- Hansel hugs and how he was- okay with stuff. Hansel being Dad. Hm. Maybe there was an idea there too. "Love you, Dad," he said. Yeah. This was good. Izzy: at 9:27 PM "Love you too, kid." END Title: Amends. Summary: Hansel has A Talk with Roddy about their previous altercation in Matches. Everything goes pretty well. Roddy realizes that other people also have problems. Category:Text Roleplay